Pass/Fail

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Yesterday was pretty darn crazy. After taking a three-hour test and then heading work, it felt like the day would not end.

Thank god, I passed the certification exam.I probably could have done a whole lot more to prepare, but there are just not enough hours in the day.

At least, that’s how it has felt ever since I registered to take it… not with the hours that I’ve been working and trying to stay in school…

Let me backtrack here… for the curious…

While I am currently employed as a substance abuse counselor, I am not yet certified. In the state of North Carolina, you can practice under supervision for a time while you get your own certification.

I am in that process still.

But, passing the Certification exam is a big deal… and one more requirement I can check off my list! Whew!

Now, I can get back to feeling overwhelmed about work, neglecting my schoolwork, and wondering how I got in this mess.

All these feelings aside, I did not eat any stupid stuff. It would have been real easy.

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A little help from my friends.

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I am thrilled by the response to my first post. I’ll be honest… I believe that I got exactly what I was looking for when I decided to put my situation out there.

Thank you to those of you who were willing to make suggestions and those who were willing to share a little about your own experience.

Since Saturday, I have had some excellent conversations, gotten some great ideas, and done some things differently.

I’ve still got my work cut out for me.

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But I believe that with your support, I’m up to the task.

I have already taken to heart one of the most important  suggestions.

Some of you have pointed out that this isn’t necessarily about food…
Food has been the quick fix.

I need to take better care of myself.

I work way too much.

It’s easy to do in an environment where there is so much need and such limited resources. But the end result has been to feel burned-out and not much good to anyone including myself.

…too tired to exercise… too stressed to make healthy decisions about food… too distracted to make meaningful connections with others…  too burned-out to take care of myself the way that I suggest to others to take care of themselves…

You’re right.

So right it made me cry. But maybe I needed just that.

Thank you.

Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for being a friend enough to tell me what I need to hear.

The jumping-off place.

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What is a watershed moment?

A critical turning point.
What it is actually is a moment in time where everything changes. A point in time when nothing after will ever be the same as before. To call it a turning point technically is true, but it is an overly simplistic definition of the phrase.

The figurative meaning comes from the literal meaning of a point, or division in a river, or stream where the river is split into two distinct paths that will not intersect again. (from Answers.com)

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This is the most I have weighed since before I got married eight years ago.

I have a gym membership. I don’t go. If I go, I don’t stick with it.

I have a weight watchers membership. I even go to the meetings pretty regularly. But, I don’t track my food and I have not consistently cut back.

It’s not working.

Some things have definitely changed. I recently discovered that I am in “early” menopause.

Some things haven’t. I still work all the time. I don’t take the time to eat right. I don’t take the time to exercise. I make plenty of excuses.

It’s not working.

I have gone up a jean size. or two. I am uncomfortable. I don’t want my picture taken. My feet and my knees hurt.

This can be my “watershed moment” … my “jumping off place” but only if I do something different.

I don’t want this to be an “f’ it” moment.

I am already dealing with the consequences of too many of those… too many “I’ll start over over on Monday” moments.

I need to start now.

It’s not going to be easy.

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I need help. I am asking for suggestions. I am asking for support.